The Many Perks of Being a Self-Deprecator

Good afternoon to Nick Drake and 3 cups of very strong bold coffee. J
I’ve finally found a big, quiet place to sit and listen to my music and write.
I called my mom crying around 2 o’clock after Cracker Barrel called me and told me my background check came through and they were ready to have me come on board.

-I thought you’d be happy you finally found a job
-I’m 24 years old, working at Cracker Barrel, part-time for $7.25 an hour…
-Well, I know it’s not your dream job but it’s a job. Are you worried someone is going to see you, is that what’s wrong?
-I don’t care if anyone sees me, I care what I think about myself

The tone of the conversation was a dramatically comedic, not drenched in self-pity, minus the tears, of course.
Thankfully my boyfriend isn’t above hashing my insecurities and threw a few more punches at my bruised ego after calling to patronize me.

“Well, this is certainly something to celebrate!”
“This is amazing, you have a wonderful career blossoming before you!”

-Dude, I feel like a failure
-You have every right too! [insert laughter]

When I say thankfully, I really do mean that. He’s great at not feeling sorry for me and kicking me I’m down (over bullshit problems) and for some reason, it’s one of my favorite things about him. Much like back in October when I was fired after 5 hours on a temp. job at a costume store for not knowing what I was doing and walking in circles around the store.
He called to see if I was okay and was happy to find me laughing at myself so he could throw in his jokes at the expense of my situation. Self-deprecation truly is my finest quality and has always earned me more friends than expressing sincere concern towards shitty situations.
When being the fat kid earned me no friends, self-deprecation and sarcasm sure did.
I may never be the prettiest person, but I’ll always be the happiest when my life sucks.