THAT just happened.

"Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move,
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove!"
HEART-PLUNGING GUITAR RIFF!

What is about Led Zeppelin that has managed to weave it's way through the generations in such vivid clarity?
I threw-eth my ipod on shuffle and all of a sudden, here comes "Black Dog" and it's heart-plunging guitar riffs and vocals. My undying love for the 60's and early 70's is incredibly emphasized when it comes to Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors and Led Zeppelin. They have that "umph", that defines rock n' roll. If you listen to a band/artist and they cloud your rationality and you have a strong urge to do drugs or have sex; they have therefore managed to surpass all of your repressed urges and personal ethics and you have therefore entered the realm of rock n' roll.
Rock n' Roll is the soul's fountain-of-youth.
To which i end this with the ultimate rock n' roll question: Is it better to burn out or fade away?

a quick realization

I have come to a sad, yet, unsurprising conclusion; a good majority of the people in my country are stupid. This, i did have an idea as to but, felt i was simply being arrogant in assuming things of such magnitude. But, the word is out. People are stupid.

circles

The past few days, i've been hiding from people. Though physically present, i find myself on autopilot dwelling in deeper thought. There really is no escape from being in this place of my mind, it simply needs to run it's course. But, while i'm always striving for happy - above content, it seems content is the only sturdy ground i have found recently. And in that, i find myself unhappy but, not in a sense that i'm suffering. It's routine. I am not a person who conditions themselves to routine. It's tedious and unfulfilling and unnatural.
For example: though i like my job and enjoy the people i work with; when i'm there, something doesn't seem right about it.
Something doesn't seem right about working almost everyday. I want to learn during my short time here on this earth. I want to observe and study and learn things; know things.
People say there is no other way but, by what means of comparrison do we have to validate this? I fear feeling this way will eventually leave me lonley but then i ask myself, "By what means of comparrison do i have to validate this?"
What else have i ever done?

MY thoughts of the mental and the physical

"Whatever is profound loves masks; what is most profound even hates image and parable. Might nothing less than the opposite be proper disguise for the shame of a god?"
-Nietzsche (Beyond Good and Evil)

Because of this, i have decided to start sharing my opinions...

1

Lately, i've battled thoughts of the mental world and the physical world. While i cry out that we should accept our mental beings and blind ourselves to the physical world, it's simply impossible. We are attached to the physical and because of our society, the two have been fused together. There is no way to avoid the visual prejudices of the common man. Even in my bestfriend, i see how she allows herself to be defined by her relationships which are measured on a physically attractive scale. She pulsates through a social network of people equally deprived of character. While this seems a cruel thing to say, it's not, it's a simple observation. She doesn't look for the good in people (the mental), she looks at how they make her look. Which leads to vicarious narcissism, which we will not approach today. For now, i will speak of the mental and physical world.
The psychology of the mind is incredible - to not accept who we are when we can physically be no other is absurd.
Our physical being; our physical surroundings should not define us, should not divide us or create caste systems with impenetrable walls build of things we bear no mental significance to.
Everyone wants to believe they are important; that our lives are somehow incredibly significant. But unfortunately, one "true", cruel, undeniable fact is: no one is important. No one's life is exceptional, we live to the best of our capabilities, a wide, wide, wide range of capabilities. We're so small and insignificant and in the big, BIG picture, our lives are so, so short. We're merely specs of dust; grains of sand, if you will. But this isn't morbid, this is beautiful, absolutely amazing.
So the one true, wonderful thing that seperates us from everything we know about the universe thus far, our thoughts. But, most choose to be ignorant to them; to deny them a room in their minds. Instead, we accept the physical because, it's "changeable", eaiser to decieve with. BEcause it seperates us and allows a definite "significance"; a most obvious difference.
But, with our thoughts combined, we grow; learn; find peace; find solutions. Life could be easier. But, because we live in the physical, we create these caste systems and cruel differenct, yet, become alike in a way that greatly fades the beauty of our existence. By creating standards; expectations, we're simply creating restraints. Yet, our thoughts have no restraints. We are denying ourselves the honest luxury of gain; of growth.
I can understand the importance of living in the physical when it comes to touch and smell and hearing but, i do not understand why the visual should so cruely seperate us.
There is no sincerity in the visual aspect of the physical. It's superficial, all of it, it has no choice.
"i think, therefore i am" applys soley to the individual. Regardless of one's ability to be unaffected by the thoughts of others, if you believe we're mental then, other's thoughts do, indeed, need to be accounted for.
How unfortunate that it is so superficial. "i think, therefore i am" does not understand that our physical beings are now a representation of our mental beings. We have come to a point in our shambles of a society where they must both validate one another. How do we now, shed our physical prejudices towards one another? How can we fully portray our mental being without being shunned by our physical differences?

hello again

So, here i am! Finally moved out of my grandparent's house. Not any closer to a decision as to what i want to do with my life but, i don't really feel a ton of pressure right now. Or, perhaps i'm just ignoring it, who knows?
I have, however, FINALLY read Nietzsche, after 9 years of reading philosophy and psychology books, it took me until now to read Nietzsche.
I feel as if i've found my soulmate. His arrogance is my repressed arrogance that i will never let surface, not even in my own mind. I find myself looking at things differently too. Philosophy has always been a major influence in my life but, whereas music is able to affect me all the time, philosophy requires a different plunge with it's heaviness. And Nietzsche's words are beautiful and elegant and perfect. And for a short-lived moment, everything seems less meaningless to me. Life in general seems like maybe, possibly it could be worth somehting more than time pressed by gravity. Because, if someone once existed that could write things as wonderfully as Nietzsche did, then it can't really be so pointless. But, at battle with my thoughts, that subsides and i'm left craving more of the fluffy cushion that he sews beneath me.
But at least, for those few moments, i feel the pressure let up a bit and look at things with that light that genuinely faithful people do. But it is not in my nature to accept things that way so, until i am no more, i have Nietzsche. :)

Fatal Flaws

I listen to music at least, and, this is no stretch; at least 12-16 hours every day. So, it should come as no surprise that a lyric will come across my ears that tickles a nerve that needs relaxing. This time it was in a song by The Shins, "Gone For Good". The Shins, previously neglected due to my dislike for a good portion of indie music, have wormed their way on to my ipod. Anyway, not to stray, the lyric?
"I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love and go out of my head, you love a sinking stone..."
I think i've listened to that one line about 37 times today. Not counting but, that would be a rough estimate based on my stupid obessesion with replaying 3 seconds of any song i see fit to my situation.
This a secret obsession that i do believe only one other human being is aware of and i'm pretty sure he's forgotten so that leaves anyone who reads this.
Other than that, i have nothing much to say.
Also, i am a crazy person, truly.

unkind nothings

i have nothing to write here. everything is a mess inside of my brain and i'm using old techniques and expecting the outcome to be different. do we ever learn? i think not. at least, i don't think i ever will.
i don't think i'll ever find true satisfaction until i do everything for myself. Until i cut my ties and count my losses. But, at what point does that become easy? And since there is no right or wrong and no greater destiny, then what am i doing anyway? Will life always be so confusing. I envy those who see it as a playground. I'm merely an observer and i write. how completely broing i am.

dog died.