dead computer = posts via email
My thoughts have ruled supreme the past few days. im used to letting them run wild but, recently theyve left me in a place that really has no solid escape. there are no answers for my questions. there are no answers to anything in this life. and while this may seem full of disdain and misery, its truly not. its just one of those things ive accepted and coexist plesantly with. and usually, its my fire to do sporadic things. for, nothing we do truly matters. layed out upon centuries of existence, were already forgotten.
pressed by gravity and matter and conscious actions - were simply here. nothing more. existing now. not then or even in the future. were just colors and vibrations of utter nothingness; a glitch. in that thought, there is beauty: to feel things to depths beyond explanation.
were simply the patterns of the universe confined to here. and well never know.
you can hide behind religion and build a belief system around noble ideas and human decency but, death leaves only an imprint. and like a burned out star - well exist only in a light less vibrant and nonexistent in actuality.
are we really here? not some physical projection of some unknown energetic source? i dont believe in some master creator or purpose but it doesnt mean the questions dont still arise from time to time. but like all others of all religions and beliefs, i ask "why?"
why do we suffer, why are we happy? why? why? why? why cant we know?
i want more than this.