The evening played out really well. I bought a semi-expensive (for me) bottle of 11 year old Cabernet and headed towards the hole-in-the-wall itilian restaurant to drink a few glasses alone with Nietzsche.
I sat alone for an hour and a half in a mostly empty room with the liquid slowly depleting from the bottle and my nose deep in Genealogy of Morals.
Of the three occupied tables (me being at one of them), the table directly across from me began to pray over their food. Oh! The irony!!!
i sat confident and happily alone and for the first time ever, as i can recall, i felt no odd feeling in my chest about sitting alone. Usually, i feel a bit anxious and insecure but, i sat proudly alone and womanly in every aspect.
My manners were on their best behavior and my ego had that soft glow of genuine happiness and confidence.
A hermit by nature, eating alone is a sort of challenge. On one hand, you're alone, on the other hand, you're around people, strangers even.
But tonight, it felt nothing like that. I was happy where i was, knew i wouldn't be pestered and in a place where it was easy to filter out the noise.
Of any time i've ever ventured alone; this adventure proved to me that i'm exactly where i want to be in my life. Friendly, confident, happy and still moving forward.
I just hope everyone finds a place in themselves like that :)
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