I believe i have found a book that will change a lot of things for me. "Resistance, Rebellion and Death" by Albert Camus. I found the book at random during an intense browse of the philosophy section at my favorite used bookstore. Crappy, frayed edges always catch my attention as it often means the books were once well-loved or read many times. I shuffled the pages, a few things caught my eye so, i stacked it on top of my other books.
Today, i curled up on the couch with my favorite blanket and my book-of-choice, after much deliberation, and felt my heart fall through the couch a page and a half in to "Letters to a German Friend".
The depth at which he writes is, of it's own, incredibly intense. But, the love he has for his country is illuminated across the pages and in thought, i considered that i bare no true love for my country... and it saddens me. I could never write of America with great passion for, i do not believe in everything we do or how we came to be. I do not hate my country, i am grateful for many things that my country offers me but, i want to LOVE my country. I want it to be part of who i am. I want to be proud of it. I want to bask in all of it's colors. And i do not.
Albert Camus has won my heart in a mere 500 words and my country has won nothing in 25 years.
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