Tuesday, February 01, 2011

i'd like my solitude with extra room, please.

Blank space only reminds me that i'm not writing - not taking charge of what i want to do with my life. I hate working directly with people all day long. I hate seeing the same people everyday and plastering a stupid smile on my face so that i might one day, eventually, be able to mingle with them without hesitation. Working directly with people is a form of human practice. I've come to the conclusion that if it doesn't feel "natural", it isn't.
Take Eric, for example. A customer i see everyday i work. I hate Eric. He reminds me why i do not like people. He's tall and wide and hopelessly uncharismatic. He reminds me why i hate my job. He's a boring man that orders the same drink everyday. A venti Americano with extra room. His eyebrows fall over his eyes like fat, lazy caterpillars and his facial hair exceeds the length of what's appropriate for any man his age. He's big and fat and the fact that his shirts lack grease stains is a bit of a shocker. He closes his eyes when he talks to people and he reads from a Nook. Everything about him irritates me. His jokes are miserable and his face is rosy and fleshy.
Everyday i see him, it reminds me that i'm not doing shit with my life... just like blank pages.

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