I drank by myself. Not really by myself. Talking to my boyfriend over the phone. Only, he didn't know i was drinking. Does this make the whole idea more lonely?
I drink wine. It's classy and it doesn't grant sloppiness.
Purple stained lips indicate consumption to the unknowing. How to hide... only, there is no hiding.
Where does one hide from themselves?
From the thoughts that plague them everyday? How do i ignore myself? I enjoy being inebriated. Away from my own skin and hollowed out in this foreign state of mind. It's not real. And, it's only temporary. But, what's real? Nothing is real. Everything is a color, a fragment of a "moment" in time, left to our memories to create as fact. There is no fact, only emotions, consciousness and memory.
Brain matter. There is nothing. There is now. Only now do we exist. In 5 seconds, we're gone. But what exactly is 5 seconds? To ant, it must seem more. To humans; less. To space... seconds don't even exist. So what are we doing? What are we doing every day? Why do we care? Why compassion?
What are we exactly? We're stimulated brain matter. Tissue with a conscience.
Know how to erase all things and find euhphoria? Sex and masturbation.
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